failblog numero uno:: Normal, IL

I decided last week that I would write every day, no matter what. No matter what stupid things came into my head or what trash my ignorance brought forth... I decided I would write. A week later, I'm finally banking in on that promise.

I may have been just a little distracted, though, by the victory in our Nation's Capitol (thank you Mike for the right-at-that-moment text that sent me deliriously over the edge with happiness) and the FAIL by the once great state of New York. I won't get into politics because I cannot possibly express feelings not already expressed by members of the LGBT community and the awesome people that support us... But seriously... If Florida can get a recount - and turn shit ALL THE WAY around, I know that the same can happen in NYS.

Other than watching the news like a hawk and waiting for a Rachel Maddow showdown, I've been working like a madwoman at my minimum wage job. Black Friday should die... It actually physically hurts me to work retail. Besides the obvious back and every-fucking-joint-in-my-body pains, I also have not worked for minimum wage since I was SIXTEEN. And I'm definitely not excited about doing it now...

But I'm sucking up the fact that I feel overqualified. And lost in this small town. Because I love my girlfriend. And I love the fact that I can now sleep next to said girlfriend. Giving up my life in civilization is just a little drawback, I tell myself, to having such an amazing addition to my bed and arms. I'm also sucking it up because I have six months left on this lease that I fortunately don't have to pay for (considering I make minimum wage with minimum hours... I'm sure glad Mumsie's generous). And because I've just dived headfirst into leadership roles at student organizations and tuition bills and committing myself to being friends with pretty wicked people.

So I'm going to be happy. Even if I have to make myself miserable doing it.

Other than loving my girlfriend and attempting to ignore the millions of acres of cornfields (which I'll complain about in a later post), I've been building a better relationship with my mommy.

>>Sidebar: I will always call her Mommy. I don't care that I'm almost legally considered an independent. She's my Mommy and I'm a spoiled brat<<

We've been talking more and more, and while usually it's about what bills of mine she has to pay while I chase dreams of white picket fences and graduation caps, we've also begun sharing things. She's a proud Facebook friend and isn't afraid to comment/post/whatev. And ever since I showed her how to email on her Blackberry (which I also picked out for her), she's been sending me everything from words of wisdom to photos and contact info for long lost family members that she's tracked down... Through Facebook. I love my Mommy and can't wait to come home to soak up the familiarity of having her around and I'm hoping that, even with all of our bad times, I can be something like her when I decide I want to grow up.

I've been contemplating changing my major to English Education... Everyone that really knows me is aware of the fact that ever since I discovered my own feminine/feminist power, I decided that I would never take on those roles that were once called "traditionally female roles". But I've also discovered that I actually love introducing people to new things and feeding people things I love and am passionate about... I love the idea of teaching.

There go my dreams of being a professional bum, I guess.

For now, though, I'm just hoping for a job that doesn't involve fitting rooms and coupons. I'm hoping that I can find myself in this college town and get past the fact that I'm no longer bustling and hustling in the big city.

Next time you hear from me, I'll probably still be begging for a new job, aching for new ink, contemplating burning down all farmland that I come across, and hoping to have the courage to meet new folks who can rock my little socks off. Most of all, I'll still be adjusting.



So have you ever moved to a totally new element? How do you make it work in a new town?