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Today was a good day.

I smiled. I hoped. I found out that one of my favorite bands' songs is on full blast at Old Navy.

Okay maybe that wasn't so good. Seriously, Tegan and Sara? I mean it's one thing to sell to Coldstone. They're like a fucking... Luxury ice cream place. But Old Navy? Home of distressed jeans and $3.99 shirts? Tsk on you. But I do love hearing your voices in the middle of a shit day =)

I think my coworker has a crush on me. And I also think she is an elf. But that's beside the point. What matters is that she only wants to work when I (pretend to) work and that's dangerous. Everybody and their mother knows that this ring is holding the place for a bigger bling bling ring so one would think that would scare people off... Nope.

I felt a little bit safer today and more in my element. Maybe because I got *mostly* amazing customers, but also because I was working with Brian, who never sends me to lunch or home late, who always asks if I need anything anytime he's in the vicinity, and who always has a genuine smile plastered on his face. Plus, he's a super cutey-patootie elf creature who constantly has that "I-Just-Got-Married-and-We're-Still-Sexing-Like-Rabbits" look on his face.

Gotta love Brian.

I met some pretty rad twitterlings last night. Shoutout to:

@ SecondBecky
@ Julio_Angel
@arielleisnow
and @ leslovelifelust

who all share my hate of snow, love for the city, and envy of warm sunshine.

That's all folks. 

Fashionista. NOT

So things are finally, finally set for the informal interview on Tuesday. I'm kind of excited, but kind of FREAKED out at the same time. Since K*'s car is kind of... Gone... We're meeting at a restaurant that was kind of like my second home when I lived with S*. Fuck my life. I was more than happy not even going back up to the Edgewater/Andersonville area (save trips to Women and Children First ) and dammit now I'm within

50 meters of absolute insanity and I have no idea whether I should joke it off and forget that she exists... Or wear sunglasses and a bomber hoodie.

In other news, I'm having a wardrobe crisis. What the hell do I wear to this completely informal interview that will still say "Hey you better not forget about me because this outfit rocked both of our tiny little worlds"?


I have this shirt I just bought:

Ultra Pleated Shirt

that looks so much better on me than this mannequin. I'll upload photos later ;)

And this one:

Ruffle Neck Top

Which  makes me feel like I'm going to a holiday party...  And I have an assortment of black. Pure black waves in my closet. I'm screwed, completely screwed lol and AM IN DESPERATE NEED of a fashion consultant.

I wish my gay best friend was fashion smart =(

Gud.Ness.Gray.Shus.

I'm pretty lax these days, contemplating life movements and restoring hopes. I hate to do New Years Resolutions, but by golly, this may just be the year to stick it to my inability to follow through with things (more on that later).

My list so far:

1) write every day, no matter if it's only as small as repeating my name or a word on a page
2) make a weekly commitment to create- food, decoupage, scrapbooking, whatever
3) make a positive effort to meet more people and make more friends
4) blog at least four to five days a week

5) seek. counseling. and make an effort to open myself up not only in the privacy of counsel, but in the open air of community

Good, yea?

Anyway, as I've probably dramatically lamented about before, it's been a pretty rough time around these parts.

But things have been slowly picking up. The good thing about not getting a paycheck on time is that when the next pay period comes around, I have more dough to blow (yea I said it) on things such as these:

 

 

  

and most especially, this guy:

I'm telling you, when I spend, I go hard, homie. I'm already planning on blowing my next check. Either the tattoo I keep tring to psych myself into getting from an artist OTHER than the artist  I love at home... Or on decorating the hell out of my room with these. Dammit Etsy, stay out of my head!

And speaking of things that get in your head, today's discovery is that Starbucks Espresso shot Light is a mindfuck and gives the simulation of a caffeine high, but wears off within minutes, ruining one's buzz and making them crankier than they were before the supposed caffeine injection.

No one should be able to sell that stuff.

As a result of my caffeine low, I snapped a few times at the stupid bitch I've mentioned before. Jeez oh pete. Give a mouse a freaking crumb...

Apparently she's in training to be a cash handler, which means absolutely nothing to me except that she can get my change and check my bag when I leave. Maybe she got a raise, too, who knows? But when you give crazy bitches power, it goes to their heads. Take Jane. Once she obtained an actual title, she began dishing orders that are usually reserved for people with the titles ending in "manager".  I wasn't aware of said advancement in retail hell, so I treated her like I always treated her... I ignored the hell out of her.  And apparently that pisses Jane off to no end. I didn't notice.. Because I ignored the hell out of her.

Well, today, she offered unwanted and unneeded information like she always does. She jumped into conversations between myself and my customers. She pissed me off. So I cut her off. And pushed her to the other side of the room.

And knowing that Jane isn't the best to listen to when it comes to important things... I probably shouldn't have listened when she said that Mandy had come in to take over for me... I should have probably radioed to find out if her statement was actually valid or if I would be on a perpetual shit list for listening to her... But then I wouldn't have been able to witness the ACTUAL managers completely tear her apart.

It was fun. I felt better about life. And I got over everything.

Anyway, someone put my sucky Christmas into perspective. I wish that I had known about it sooner. I would have spent the day.. doing something other than feeling sorry for myself.

Read the story here...

And to all a good night.

Loose lips sink more than just ships.

My mommy. She's a rockstar.

She's pretty fucking amazing. She lets me rant and rave and try to find myself through whatever medium I'm into at the time and she lets me figure out what I'm good at. She's my rock. She's always tried to make me a stronger person. She's been giving me tools to realize who I am and who I want to be. She fucking rocks and lets me rock, too. She has evolved so much in the past few years and has taken me along for the ride. She's letting me get to know her. And even though we fight, she's becoming my best, truest friend.

Period. And yeah, I'm pretty dependent on her. I'm coddled, even.

But I wouldn't trade our relationship for the world.

And, at the expense of sounding completely incestuous and perverted, I miss being close to her.

And even the times when we weren't close, but she was a 40 minute ride away.. I felt better. Just knowing that if there was one second in the day that I felt I needed her, she would drop what she was doing and pick me up from the station.

My New Year's wish is to see my Mommy again on the one platform that means I'm coming home.